20 November 2006
My speaker is from “Portrait of an old man” by Leonardo DaVinci. It comes from the book The Art of DaVinci by Douglas Mannering. It came from my mother-the-art-teacher’s personal art book collection; however, upon research I have discovered that it is no longer in print (copyright 1981 by Hamlyn Publishing Group Limited). But if you would like to view a replica of this painting it is Figure 3 on this website (not to be confused with Leonardo’s recently found self-portrait that the website features). The caption depicts “Portrait of an old man” to be Leonardo’s father, Ser Piero da Vinci, or uncle Francesco da Vinci. But I was not aware of the historical context of the painting when I wrote the piece, so pay no attention to whatever Davinci’s supposed motivations for the portrait were. In other words, I wrote the prose based only on what I saw.
I
Am Man
I am man.
I have seen the horrors of the world and I look sternly upon those that
will follow in my footsteps. I know
about the terrors of war and the violence that mankind insists on instilling
upon each other for petty things: land, wealth, power. I see before me generations of violence and
tyranny to come. My children’s children
will see what I have seen in my many years, but I wish for them otherwise. I wish for them to ignore the ridiculousness
of politics. I have been pulled back and
forth for the sake of such things, and why I cannot say, but I refused to
acquiesce to such absurd notions. Issues
of legality have torn apart family relations, and I regret disputing over such
irrelevant matters. People have preached
to me of religions, of Christianity, Judaism…but I believe none of it. The idea of divine gods affecting a man’s
life, a man’s actions, and a man’s fate, is absurd. I refuse to worship such gods
and accept such philosophies as the truth.
The riddles of nature and the complexities of the human body—those are
issues worth investigating. The
conundrums of nature are intriguing, indeed, and anatomy and science are the
most valuable things a man can study and strive to assimilate into the joys of
life, love, and knowledge. Mathematics,
the human body, nature. These are the
things that man must read about. Art,
music, culture. It is in these subjects
that true importance lies. I have loved,
and I have been loved. I have been
titled princely by some, and ridiculed by others. But who are you to judge me? I am what I am, and I have seen enough of
this world to know that it is every man is for himself. Nothing can affect my goals and affections of
this life. I am old, and my wrinkles
are representative of the struggles that I have been through, the struggles
that I have seen others go through, and the struggles that I know are to come
when I die. Ah, death. It is not exempt
from my stern gaze, but I know it will overtake me soon enough. Death sees my wrinkles, and my long, unkempt
gray hair. Death sees my weariness,
sees what my eyes pessimistically see in the world before me. My eyes see black, and my eyes see
white. There is good in this world, and
there is evil. There is good, yet still
I frown. I frown for the suffering, and
I frown for the war, and I frown for my children’s children. My brows are thick and scolding, for I see in
man’s future a future of war, violence, and terror; I fear for the generations
to come, for the horrors that man is capable of. Yet, I am man.
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